Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve,
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grampa, we believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
And we begged her not to go,
But she'd forgot her medication,
So she staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her the next morning
At the scene of the attack,
There were hoofprints on her forehead
And incriminating paw marks on her back.
Now were all so proud of Grampa.
He's been taking it so well.
See him in there watching football,
Drinking beer, and playing cards with cousin Nell.
It's just not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder,
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
Now the goose is on the table,
And the pudding made of figs,
And the blue and silver candles
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.
We've warned all our friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license
To a man who rides a sleigh and plays with elves.